Teddy Grahams are the shit

Maybe I’m just bored or procrastinating the newsletter I need to finish by tomorrow, but I just can’t seem to get enough chocolate teddy grahams today. They’re especially delectable when you eat two at a time. Position them in a kind of “sayonara world, adios belly” teddy graham 69 for optimal yumminess.

No awkward flirting before eight please

This morning I tuned into my usual Headline news so I can cram in what’s fucked up in the world in the time it takes me to eat a bowl of oatmeal. I generally zone out and occasionally flip to the local news channel about 7:38 because that’s when the weather comes on. After flipping back to Headline news, perky talking head anchor, Robin Meade announced that Shaun White, aka, the Flying Tomato was in the studio all morning. Then the camera showed dorky-perky Snowboarded gold medalist White giving the thumbs up sign while some tool danced around behind him. I thought this could be amusing so sat and sipped my tea while waiting for the commercial to end.

Meade interviewed White, asking the same questions every other interviewer might ask and he happily answered her. Then they switch to Financial Fox, Carrie Lee. So she goes on for awhile about what a great snowboarder he is and that she may be twice his age but she’s going snow boarding for the third time this weekend and can he give her any advice. That may sound normal, but it was this weirdo Harold and Maude – Mrs. Robinson moment. The best part was that White couldn’t hear what she said so Robin Meade had to repeat the whole thing, minus the flirting.

Also, it still creeps me out how much Shaun White looks like my Aunt Judy (on my dad’s side).

Fat Camp

so somehow last night I got sucked into a two-hour mtv documentary called "Fat Camp." The title wasn't cryptic, and it wasn't Phat Camp, nope, Fat Camp. Fat kids at a camp in the Pocono’s. To enjoy this show fully, I sat with a pint of Hagan Daas Chocolate ice cream on my belly and dug into the drama of Fat Camp.
It made me think of when I was forced to go to overnight camp as a slightly corpulent...ok fat kid at Camp Louise. Camp Louise wasn't a fat camp, but it was a Jew camp and it was a whole lot worse. I was supposed to be in a bunk with my best friend Becky but they stuck me in a bunk with a bunch of bitches I went to Hebrew school with. I think I had one friend in the bunk but I didn't get the hot British chick as a counselor like Becky did.
Anyway, on the show there was this one home school kid named Diane. Diane had diabetes, and kind of looked like the love child of a bowling ball and Roz from Monster’s Inc. Diane hadn’t socialized with other kids and thought they were stupid. I felt bad for her because I remembered thinking kids were stupid too. Growing up an only child led to many evening’s spent with my parents and other 10 year olds weren’t really into discussing Hill Street Blues and the downfall of Reaganonmics. I remember my Dad telling me kids are mean, which they totally are.
Suffice to say, I wasn’t as clueless as Diane and I probably would have been one of the kids making fun of her. She was super drama.
I didn’t see all of the show because I flipped to Larry King because he had Trannies on. It was a veritable cornucopia of Trannies from Jennifer Boylan (author of She’s not There) to TJ from Transgeneration. I actually had my mom, then Keeper call me to tell me it was on. But I ended up drifting back to Fat Camp.
One of the kids, Petey was a super annoying tool who’ll come out in two years. He was in competition with this other kid Matt to be the camp stud. The JR. counselors at Fat Camp seemed to be getting a lot of play.
I felt a little dirty after watching Fat Camp but it was entertaining and I made a fun game of taking a hit of ice cream every time someone got yelled at for sneaking candy.