Things I'm doing today while working answering phones that aren't ringing

-noticing just how dry the skin on my butt and legs are

-fixating on my impending cramps

-obsessively checking my three email accounts only to discover I can get a good rate on a visa gold card, win a sony playstation by clicking "here", my grandmother likes to forward me things with fuzzy pink animals hugging each other, and my headhunter wants me to attend a party to introduce me to a new headhunter instead of an actual job.

-staring at the bag of half eaten carrots I have while thinking about which cubes could contain leftover Christmas chocolate.

-being cold

-getting hit on by mailroom temp while mentioning my "boyfriend" since I don't want to deal with gay questions today.

-realizing vanilla handcream makes you smell like a virgin pina colada.

-checking every club's website to see who's coming there even though I hardly go to shows anymore.

-forcing a smile whenever someone looks at me.

-picking dog/cat hair off my fleece.

-looking at the carrots some more.

-trying to find new joints to crack.