Don't want to be an American Idiot

I've been quite lackadaisical in posting stories of truth and triumph other wise known as "The Dumbest fucking thing some shithead American did."

Dog smashes truck into store

SPRINGDALE, Arkansas (AP) -- Michael Henson left the auto parts store with more problems than when he arrived. For that, he can thank his dog.

Henson, whose truck had been experiencing a sticking throttle, left his dog in the truck when he went into the O'Reilly Auto Parts store in Springdale on Sunday.

"He'd left the truck running -- I guess to show the people at O'Reilly's -- and the dog jumped over and knocked the truck into gear," police Sgt. Billy Turnbough said.
The truck raced into the building, stunning Henson and clerk Josh Hopper.
"The guy said he was standing there, looked up, and saw his dog driving his truck through the building," Turnbough said.

Hopper said he heard the crash and looked up from the transaction.
"His truck was in the window," Hopper said. "I thought, 'Oh no.' Everybody was fine. His front left tire just made it onto the brick wall."
No one was hurt and no citations were issued, police said.

Sidenote: Later tests revealed the dog was in fact drunk and has since hired Alan Dershowitz to represent him on episode #5569 of Judge Judy titled "Forget the bone, Give that Dog a 40 - Joy Ride to Nowhere."