Wednesday, June 01, 2005

There ain't shit on

We've come to that time of year when season finales have aired, sweeps week is over and the networks usher in the steaming pile of crap they call their "hit summer lineup."

Leading off this turdapollooza is Britney and Kevin-Chaotic. Keeper and I managed to suffer through one hour long episode and Chaotic can only describe Brit-Brit's camera work. We thought it would be a funny show to snark at but it's just sad and scary - it's scadary. Between Kevin Federline's repugnant grammar, spotty facial hair and overall whitetrashiness and Britney's predilection for making pig noses at the camera proclaiming “I’m so cool y’all”, I wouldn’t be surprised if Madonna is washing her mouth out with soap after sticking her tongue into that void of intellect.

The other piece of overall dung I watched recently (and I can’t believe I’m admitting to this) is Rob and Amber get Married, which Keeper added the surtitle “I still won’t do anal.” Actually adding “I still won’t do anal,” after every sentence that Amber said made this show a lot more bearable. We watched for two hours as Ramber bitched and moaned at the strain they were under at having to put together a fully paid for dream wedding in the Bahamas with CBS’s dollars. Boo-Hoo Bitches, Suck It!

But it’s not all garbage out there. Six Feet Under is coming back next Monday for its last (sigh) season. Keeper bought me the first and only season of Freaks and Geeks on DVD which is a huge pile of awesomeness. And there’s always my playstation…oh and seeing friends and stuff like that.

Oh, and before I go. I’m just going to pretend the last season of the L Word didn’t happen. Well except for Shane and Carmen doing it. That was hot. Oh and the first time Dana and Alice did it. Everything else – Poop on a platter. Don’t try so hard Rose Troche. It’s been 12 years since Go Fish. Get a new style (and a sense of humor).


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