Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Riding the bus with my fat, overacting, lesbian ex-talkshow host sister

First off, we're going to hell. We are so going to hell that we've already been given passes to the Hell HOV lane.

Sunday night at nine, Keeper and I settled in to watch the long awaited CBS Hallmark Hall of Fame move Riding the Bus with my Sister staring Rosie O'Donnel and Andie MacDowell. The really sad part of this is that we've been eagerly waiting to see this train wreck for over a month. Ever since we saw a commercial featuring a lumbering Rosie in brightly colored "just to make sure you know I'm mentally challenged" mismatching clothes, we've been chomping at the bits. In fact I started quoting from RtBWmS even before I knew any of the dialogue. I was soo sure it would contain a pivotal scene where Tard Rosie proclaims "You're my sister!" (to my dismay, it did not.)

But anyway, the overall heavy-handed, plot has Andie "I express my emotions with my hair" MacDowell -Rachael having to deal with her mentally challenged (they never say what's wrong with her, other than her voice but I'll get to that in a minute) sister Beth played by Ms. Rosie "I'll launch a Koosh ball at your head if you eat the last Ho-Ho" O'Donnel.

I didn't know what Rosie's voice would be like until the preview of RtBWmS started at nine. At this point, maybe it was from too much sugar, maybe I just couldn't contain myself, I literally almost threw up from laughing. Rosie's voice sounded something like Elmo with a thyroid condition at volume 11.

Now mind you, I do not get off on laughing at people with disabilities in real life. Nor do I get my shits and giggles from realistic portrays of them. But seeing Rosie O'Donnel projecting her lines pretty much showing every tooth was something truly frightening and beautiful at the same time.

The plot of the movie and its outcome doesn't really matter. You could see the ending before it started but it was definitely worth the wait and provided me with many quotable lines that I could recite and skive out Keeper with.

If anyone wants a copy of it, Keeper's got it on TIVO.


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