Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Got the wings of heaven on my shoes

Last night on HBO I got to see one of my favorite bad movies of all time: Staying Alive. Oh what a steaming pile of 80s crap this is and I, for one, can't get enough. Sylvester Stallone outdid himself with this one. But for years, I must admit, I hid an internal struggle ... which was the superior good bad movie: Staying Alive or Grease 2? It's a tough call, admittedly, and I myself have gone back and forth between the two. Both have awesomely bad music. Grease 2 gave us such gems as "Do It For Our Country" and "Reproduction" (where does the pollen go?) and my personal favorite, "Cool Rider." Much of the music in Staying Alive was written by one Mr. Frank Stallone (who also had a small part in the film) and I have to say that since last night I've had "Far From Over" stuck on a continuous loop in my head. And I am continually amazed that Cynthia Rhodes (a.k.a. Mrs. Richard Marx) manages to perform "Finding Out the Hard Way" while crying. (We may never know if she was crying because her agent made her do this movie or if she is really just that good of an actor.) Both movies have craptacular dancing, and I must say that that those in Grease 2 are superior. The bowling scene? The sex-ed class scene? Both worthy of Fosse. The big dance number in Staying Alive was a broadway show called Satan's Alley and I must say, it want to make me tell whoever choreographed that crap to go to hell. (Sorry for the lame joke.)

So here's the rub: Both the music and the dancing were superior in Grease 2. (I'm not even going to comment on the acting, because, girl, please.) But I still find that Staying Alive is the better movie. And I feel I've finally figured out why: John Travolta. You see, both movies are sequels to blockbuster films (no, I didn't bother looking up whether or not they were truly blockbuster) starring The Travolta, but only one of them actually features The Travolta, and that, in and of itself, makes it the superior film. Would Look Who's Talking Too? have worked without The Travolta? Hell, no. There's no way Kirstie Alley could have carried that shit by herself, and that's the problem with Grease 2. Michelle Pfeffer is a fine actress and did the best she could, but with Maxwell Caufield there dragging her down, there was just no hope.

So folks, check your local listings for additional airings of Staying Alive on one of the 137 HBO channels. I dare you NOT to dance around your living room during the closing credits. "Strut!," indeed.


At 3:01 PM, Blogger Twizler said...

Oh God. I so have Far from over stuck in my head now. And if Satan's Alley ever really played on Broadway, it would be at the half price ticket booth faster than you can say Taboo!


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